I am assuming we have all been there. The moments that make us question certain life choices. Perhaps it came after spending hours on a lesson plan only to have it fall flat on the floor. You know the one. The one where you went all out and even spent some of your own money only to have your class say, “This is boring. When is this going to be done?” Perhaps it was that certain email from a parent expressing their lack of enthusiasm with your classroom management style. Or the parent who comes into your classroom five minutes before school and says, “I want to talk to you after school today.” That’s always fun to have that running through your head the entire day.
The moments can come at all different times and from all different sources. The moments that cause us to stop and ask the question; Is it Worth It? Are the long days and short nights really making a difference? Do my students, parents, constituents really appreciate the sacrifices that I am making on a daily basis? Is what I am doing really making a difference for eternity? Why am I here? Why do our schools exist? Is it worth it?
This has been a challenging year for our school. A challenging year that has followed several challenging years. I have often talked with our principal, Amanda Nawara, wondering when
our school is going to get a break? It is easy to give up in discouragement or simply stop from weariness. Amanda calls our school “The Little School that Could.” And it is true as I look back–despite all the challenges or obstacles our school has faced, God has provided over and over again. No matter how big the challenge, the miracle has always been bigger.
The past couple of months have been especially draining on our staff and especially our principal. Stress levels were higher than normal. Emotional fatigue for all of us was high and here we were worn out, stressed out and not sure what was going to happen. It was Friday morning and time for our weekly all-school chapel. All the students had gathered in my classroom for our worship time together.
A day or so before, Amanda had told us during staff worship that Finnegan might be doing chapel instead of her. We don’t normally have students do the devotional thought. Especially a 4th grader. But Finnegan is not your typical fourth grader. We met Finn a few years ago – during COVID when most of the other schools were closed. From the start, we couldn’t help but notice his eagerness to answer all the questions of our chapel speakers. His participation was such that it bordered on being interruptive but his answers have always been right on target, showing that not only was he actively listening to the speaker, but he also was “getting it.” So Amanda approached him and said, “Buddy, why don’t
you do one of our chapels? I can work with you on it and it would be great for your classmates to hear from one of their peers.”
Finnegan was excited about the idea and the date was set for February 28th. Amanda thought that this might be a good date as the birth of her baby was quickly approaching. Amanda told the school staff, “I might not be here on the 28th so at least chapel is covered.” At least she was hoping it would be.
The morning of the 28th arrived and Amanda realized that after that initial conversation with Finnegan, nothing much had been said. With making sub plans for maternity leave, doctor’s visits, board meetings, teaching, etc., Amanda was swamped. Did Finnegan remember about doing chapel on the 28th or not? Just in case he had forgotten, Amanda came prepared, just in case.
When Finnegan arrived at school that Friday morning, Amanda asked him if he was prepared to give the chapel talk. From my vantage point I could see his eyes get big as the realization that this was the day they had talked about. To me it looked like a mixture of excitement and pure fear. He wanted to do it but yet he wasn’t really sure that he could.
Amanda said, “It’s ok buddy. If you want to do it that’s great but if not that’s ok. Why don’t you think about it for a bit?” During song service, Finn gave Amanda a thumbs up and whispered “I want to do it.” She noticed and prompted him, “Go into the computer lab with Mrs. Bates to talk about it – to make sure you’re ready.” Finnegan and Anita went into the computer lab next to my classroom while Amanda finished leading the rest of the school in song service. A few minutes later they reentered my classroom and gave Amanda a thumbs up. He was willing to go ahead with the chapel talk.
After the song service Finnegan got up and proceeded to tell three stories: First, a nutshell retelling of Jesus’ death and resurrection leading up to
walking and talking with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. He told about Peter denying Jesus three times. Then Finnegan went on to talk about the morning by the Sea of Galilee where Jesus was again talking with Peter, and Jesus asked Peter the question, “Peter, do you love me?” Finnegan told us “It’s handy to have a mom who knows Greek.” He then told us about the word “love” in Greek and how the word “love” can mean different things. He continued by stressing the importance of having a love relationship with Jesus.
All that Finnegan was saying I had heard before. For me it was nothing new. But at some point, as he was standing before his classmates, it changed from a simp
le chapel talk to a heartfelt altar call. As he was sharing the love that Jesus has for him, the tears began to come to his eyes and his voice began to shake. Finnegan looked at the faces of his friends and his teachers and said, “Do you get it? Jesus just wants to be your friend.” At this point the emotions were too much and he turned to Amanda and barely got the words out, “I think I need to stop now.”
As Finnegan sat down amongst his classmates I was wiping the tears from my eyes. In fact, anytime I think of it I still get emotional. Mostly because a 4th grader reminded me to look at the love of God through the eyes of a child. To remember the wonder of it all. But I was also emotional because he spoke to a tired and worn out staff who might be tempted to doubt if anything we are doing is making a difference. When we are tempted to ask ourselves the question, is it worth it? God, our Friend, sent a very clear answer through Finnegan: Absolutely!
Pastor Dan Bates, Grades 5-8 Teacher
